There's an unintended lesson in learning here. This article outlines what Danu Anthony Stinson and colleagues call the 'acceptance prophecy' (terrible name), "where your expectation of being accepted or rejected subtly shapes your behavior, which in turn influences whether others actually accept or reject you." Francesca Tighinean outlines some common-sense approaches to being perceived as 'likable' by changing your behaviour and expectations. Sounds great - but learning something like this isn't as simple as switching it on. To focus on being likable takes a lot of self-awareness and (especially) practice. That's the hard part - finding the time, finding the motivation, recovering when it fails. And most of all, you have to value being likable, which may be difficult if you value other things more.
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