Where's a superhero when you need one? The Net, which once seemed so invincible, is under attack by the forces of evil. Viruses knock servers to their knees. Spammers hijack our inboxes. Hackers and identity thieves menace our collective security and personal privacy.
Desperate solutions range from abandoning email to requiring a license to log on. Halt, fools! The Internet's problems stem from the same virtues that make it great: open architecture, the free flow of information, peer-to-peer cooperation, and a bias for linking strangers, not disconnecting them. Take those away and the Net might cease to infuriate us - but it will also cease to amaze us.
Here's a smarter approach: 101 proposals that harness the Net's own superpowers to defeat its foes. Up, up, and away!
__1 __Unleash vigilante justice on spammers One activist has proposed filters that launch distributed denial-of-service attacks back at spammers. Great. Just make sure we have the right addresses first.
__2 __Slash song prices charge 29 cents per download. You''ll make it up in volume.
__3 ____Quit already, Jack Valenti __
__4 ____Appoint Larry Lessig to the Supreme Court __Is he a Democrat or a Republican? Who cares! Laws governing information flow are the new affirmative action, abortion, and gun control rolled into one.
__5 ____Create the all-in-one inbox __Email, phone calls, instant messages - they should all go into a single app.
__6 ____Triple our cable modem speed __First step: Just turn off the Golf Channel and UPN.
__7 ____Demand truth in advertising for software updates __C'mon, AOL 9.0 is really AOL 8.0 with the version number increased 1.0.
__8 ____Declare spammers are terrorists __And put Ashcroft, Ridge, and Rumsfeld on their tails.
__9 ____Hands off Internet phone calls __Just because the creaky old phone system was regulated to death doesn't mean VoIP should suffer the same fate.
__10 ____Free the handsets __We should be able to buy any cell phone and match it with any service plan.
__11 ____Larry Flynt, build a porn browser __It should cover our tracks coming and going.
__12 ____Make email addresses portable __
__13 ____Don't let the Pentagon hog the airwaves __The DOD doesn't need that many civilian-free radio frequencies to do its job.
__14 ____Dump the Digital Millennium Copyright Act __
__15 ____Stop the US Patent Office before they patent the hyperlink __Oops, too late.
__16 ____Simplify Web publishing __Why can't we post files from our desktop to a Web site in one drag-and-drop move?
__17 ____Let a thousand Wi-Fis bloom __Open spectrum is the new open source.
__18 ____Build a .sex red-light district __Icann, the committee that assigns top-level Internet domains, refuses to create an adult zone that can easily be kept from kids' eyes. Porn won't disappear, so deal with it.
__19 __Make privacy a personal asset Canada has it already: a law that prevents firms from consolidating all customer information after a merger.
__20 ____Roll out GAAP for geeks __Just as with accounting, create an industry standard for network security. Don't forget the penalties for companies that don't comply.
__21 ____Bring on the perp walks __We want to see the next CEO whose company's servers leak 10,000 credit card numbers marched past TV cameras by the FBI.
__22 ____Take back UHF __We're tired of running our wireless network on the same frequency as the microwave, the cell phone, and the neighbor's baby monitor. Channel 83 is just sitting there.
__23 ____Offer real RIAA amnesty __Instead of telling us to delete MP3s or pay a fine, how about you let us pay a fair price to keep them.
__24 ____Release Episode III on the Net __It's going straight to video anyway.
__25 ____Pass a White Hat Protection Act __Hackers who find holes in corporate networks should get thanks, not handcuffs.
ANTISPAM TOOLBOX
None of these is a magic bullet. But together, they can force junk mail down to levels we can all live with.
Items 26-33
__26 ____Pass the Do Not Spam list __Chuck Schumer's Senate bill sticks American inbox bombers with steep fines and creates a special circle in hell for those who send porn to tots. It's not 100 percent enforceable, but neither is the speed limit on Interstate 80.
__27 ____Automate the FTC __Replace the Federal Trade Commission's manual email address for reporting spam (uce@ftc.gov) with a nationwide collaborative filtering service like Cloudmark's SpamNet.
__28 ____Simplify disposable addresses __
__29 ____Stop email forgery __A geeky feature called Reverse MX makes it impossible to masquerade as gwbush@whitehouse.gov.
__30 ____Scramble archived addresses __Online archives of mailing lists are a treasure trove for spammers. Give members the option to have their addresses scrambled in posts.
__31 ____Enable digital signatures __Crypto certificates are the most reliable way to tell email friend from faux. ISPs and corporate IT guys should pass them out as a competitive advantage.
__32 ____Build friend-of-a-friend filters __Think of it as Friendster for your inbox. Everyone on our list can email everyone on yours, but outsiders have to fill out those annoying SpamCop forms.
__33 ____Create a P2P email program __We directly trade MP3 files, instant messages, and now phone calls without the bother of backend servers. So why not email messages?
__34 ____Spyware vs. Spyware __Counterspyware shouldn't just find spyware installed on our computers. It should hunt down the punk who put it there.
__35 ____Link Moviefone and Fandango __Cut a deal so we don't have to search both your sites for theaters.
__36 ____Allow Wi-Fi roaming __The Cloud and Boingo share their hot spots - now how about T-Mobile, Verizon, et al.?
__37 ____End broadband monopolies __You can't get DSL without first signing up with the local phone bureaucracy for a line you won't use. This is deregulation?
__38 ____Simplify URLs __Why can't http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail//0375502904/qid=1068751824/sr=12-8/103-2810600-6302246?v=glance&s=books be amazon/wolf/wired?
__39 ____Upgrade to IPv6 __The next-gen Internet protocol will improve security and add 340,282,366,920,938,463,463,374,607,427,473,244,160 IP addresses - enough for everything, ever.
__40 __Big music, follow the money 8 of 9 adults beyond student age still pay for songs instead of ripping them.
__41 ____Free the archives __Require that copyright owners reregister works after 50 years and put everything else up for grabs. The Magic Kingdom gets to keep Mickey Mouse, while archivists can digitize deteriorating unclaimed films without fear of lawsuits.
__42 ____Replace servers with P2P __Too many network services - domain names, Web servers, email - rely on the old client-server model, which is vulnerable to attack.
__43 ____Unleash Jeff Bezos, rock star __C'mon, Jeff, you can build a better music store than the dude in the black turtleneck or Mr. Bill.
__44 ____Publish Creative Commons for Dummies __The open copyright licensing system is pure genius. But you need to be a genius to use it.
__45 ____VeriSign must die __
__46 ____Free the Beeb __The BBC is dragging its feet on a plan to put its vast archives online. Come on, chaps, it's your best idea since Monty Python.
__47 ____Upgrade phone booths to Wi-Fi __
__48 __Free Rob Glaser! The barrage of pop-ups that clutter the screen when we try to use RealOne can only be a cry for help: Geek guru Glaser is being held hostage by his own marketing department!
__49 ____Mesh networks everywhere __If wireless signals could hop from gadget to gadget, we wouldn't have to hunt for hot spots.
__50 ____Add a broadband department to Wal-Mart__You've put every local hardware store out of business. How about the cable guy and the phone company next?
__51 ____And while you're at it __Bundle a combo PC, DSL-cable modem, and wireless home router for, oh, $299.99.
Microsoft To-Do List
Here are a few suggestions that don't require breaking up the company or shipping Linux.
Items 52-64
__52 ____Hey Steve, fire someone __Somebody's not living up to the company's tough talk on fixing bugs. Developers, developers, developers should be accountable, accountable, accountable.
__53 __Give away a good spam filter
__54 ____Ship antivirus wizard __Why can't the paper clip guy tell us something important, like "This message is infected with Sobig"?
__55 ____Block self-installing adware for good __
__56 ____Enable automatic file encryption __We've heard the promises for years. But even Apple offers this already - what's the holdup?
__57 ____Filter fake error messages __Those ads that pose as Windows error messages ("Your computer may be infected! Download fix?") should appear in front of your lawyers, not us.
__58 ____Take the blame __Software license agreements that absolve you of, oh, deleting three years' worth of email are irresponsible. Bugs are negligence, and negligence should cost you, not us.
__59 ____Make anonymous Net use easier __
__60 __Make networked home PCs back each other up
__61 ____Create a security advisory board __Appoint some outsiders (hello, Dan Geer?) to decide which security upgrades should be auto-pushed to consumers' PCs - then make it happen.
__62 ____Add a low-bandwidth mode to Internet Explorer __
__63 ____Offer more language translation __We want to read those Iranian blogs.
__64 ____Simplify for security __Fewer features means fewer bugs.
__65 __Establish an ID theft hotline Having your identity stolen is a nightmare, especially the paperwork. Wells Fargo has proposed a one-call service. By sharing and analyzing data, financial services companies could then sort criminals from customers.
__66 __Shut down pedophile chat rooms Its just a bunch of undercover FBI guys in there anyway.
__67 ____End phone subsidies __A byzantine maze of hidden revenue transfers - universal service, excise tax, TTY/TDD access, 911, et cetera - discourages innovations like Vonage that don't fit the regulatory format. Pay for all this stuff from general taxes instead of sneaking it onto the phone bill.
__68 ____Write to President Schwarzenegger __When he gets to Washington in, oh, 2012, maybe he can terminate the legislation that mandates insane fixes for digital piracy.
__69 ____Restore due process for ISPs __Reverse the legal precedent that requires providers to hand over their customers' names under subpoena - at least until they stop handing over the wrong names.
__70 ____Keep blogging, Howard Dean __
__71 ____Add a recall function for email messages __Outlook (with Microsoft Exchange Server) does it, why can't everyone else?
__72 ____Install the Slammer Panic button __Give operators at top traffic hubs the right to instantly block malicious packets worldwide instead of paging one another - an attack on one is an attack on all.
Google To-Do List
We love you Larry and Sergey, but…
Items 73-78
__73 __Add a search for legal music downloads
__74 __Crawl the Internet Archive
__75 __Let us link to a page we hate without boosting its ranking
__76 __Add mobile numbers to the phone book
__77 __Create an email address directory
__78 __Give us a filter option for blogs
APPLE TO-DO LIST
We've heard the rumors. Now make them true.
Items 79-83
__79 __iPhone
__80 __Finding Nemo browser for kids
__81 __iDVR
__82 ____Safari for Windows __
__83 __iPod for movies
__84 ____Leave all the old eBay auctions online, Meg __Imagine the outrage if the NYSE threw that kind of market data away.
__85 ____Archive the Net __Brewster Kahle can't do it all by himself.
__86 ____Take over the MPAA, Keanu __Only the One can end the war between fans and the movie industry machine.
Your To-Do List
Surf globally, act locally. There are some things you'll just have to do yourself:
Items 87-95
__87 ____Switch your ISP __Some offer anti-spam and anti-virus tools and support. If your current provider won't help you defend yourself, find another that will.
__88 ____Change your screen name __Is your screen name the same as your email address? Are you getting spam? Duh.
__89 ____Demand privacy reports __Push companies to reveal the info they have on you and with whom it has been shared - the privacy version of a credit report.
__90 ____Death to fax machines __Send us an attachment instead.
__91 ____Stop with the jokes __If we get the one about French military victories one more time, we're going to come over and unplug you personally.
__92 ____Turn off your HTML email __It makes you vulnerable to viruses - and bugs us.
__93 ____Don't open it __When you get a suspicious-looking email attachment, resist the urge to click.
__94 __Tell Kelly on Geocities to take down her Macarena tribute page It's over, Kel.
__95 ____Protect yourself, dumbass __Download security and virus patches at Microsoft.com/protect.
__96 ____Blanket airports with Wi-Fi __There are more Centrino ads than hot spots. How about covering check-in lines, gates, baggage claim, and the restrooms.
__97 ____Celebrate diversity __With nearly every computer on the planet running Windows, Outlook, and Explorer, it's too easy for a single virus to spread everywhere.
__98 ____Add a "Skip All Flash Intros" option to Macromedia players __
__99 ____Hire Tom Ford to design Dells __Just look what he did for Gucci.
__100 ____Dear Mr. President, whatever you're doing to make cybersecurity czars quit, stop it __
__101 ____Madonna, the EFF needs you __Your "Hollywood" video ripping off, er, paying tribute to photographer Guy Bourdin is the boldest argument for fair use since Warhol.
Special thanks: Rand Wacker, Kevin Werbach, Bruce Schneier, Hal Varian, Scott Rafer, Dave Winer
